I hate Terroni

This is upsetting for me. The one restaurant in LA opened by a Torontonian, I have to insult. But, I have no choice. My father in law came to visit so I chose a restaurant that many of those close to me rave about and patron on a regular basis. To be honest, the food was pretty good. The sad part is that the rest of the experience was so atrocious and infuriating I can't possibly see myself going back. I heard that their shtick is 'no substitutions, no additions, deletions, modifications, etc..." yadda yadda yadda. Ok, fine. But, in a business where the customer is always right, why would you go with a theme that makes people feel stupid? I'll list the idiotic details below:

1. We asked for balsamic vinegar to dip our bread into. Answer: NO. "Our olive oil is so delicious that it would be ruined by mixing balsamic into it. So no you can't have any." Wow. Its not like I'm in an Italian restaurant that uses balsamic in almost every dish. Oh wait! Yes I am and she just told me I'm an idiot and have the tastebuds of a neanderthal.

2. We don't like mushy bread. We asked for the bread to be toasted. Answer: NO. Hmmm, don't you cook food such as pizzas here and it would take you 2 minutes to make your patrons happy? Sorry!

3. We ordered a pizza. Apparently, somewhere in Italy its normal to serve pizza uncut, so for the sake of authenticity, the pizza came as one huge circle. Ok. I don't know how to shove a giant pizza in my mouth so we asked them to cut it. Answer: NO. And that no came with a giggle as well. That one put it over the top for me. Ok, you want to show everyone in AMERICA that you serve food like they do in ITALY. I live here and I don't care what dumb things people do across the world. I want you to cut my pizza - I'm paying for it! But no, why would I try to make my customer happy by cutting a massive piece of food to make it easier to eat?? By golly, that would be madness. So, I had no choice but to cut it. Of course I had a crappy knife and mangled most of the giant pizza. What an authentic Italian experience.

4. Finally, we asked for some parmesan cheese to be sprinkled on our pizza. Answer: NO. But it gets better - "We don't serve parmesan cheese on our pizzas." Strange, because there were about 12 parmesan cheese bottles on the table next to us for what seems to be, SERVING purposes. We didn't even get the reason behind this one but I imagine it would be something along the lines of "our chef will hang himself if he knew you were putting cheese on your pizza." What a joke.

So there. I won't even give you the address because I don't want you to go there.